This is my world.-Charis

to some, He has given the gift of being in the limelight. to me, i am content of being in the shadows. i am not the performer, i am not the star, i am not the show pony. in fact, i have nothing to be proud of actually. the only thing i should be able to boast about is the grace of my God.and when He has gives me the opportunity to display His strength through my weakness, all praise be given to Him!

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how i long to submerge myself again in Him, but opportunities to rekindle the roaring fire i once had come too far apart for me. everytime i hear His voice, it always goes back to a focal point: my underutilized freedom in Him. freedom in Him has become a foregin ground to me. i do not feel free to do the things i know i should do and the things i want to do, but the things i do are the things i do not want to do…talk about being closely familiar with the apostle paul’s struggle.

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I have felt incomplete lately…maybe He uses my loneliness to come back to Him. He, after all, is my first love. i do know though, that what longings and silent sighs i have now are not to be released in this point of my life. i am a bit fearful about the future and what if’s scare me. what if there isn’t someone…*sigh*…some things are better left prayed about and not said. but in this point in my life,i am a student, and a good student i am determined to be.

as of now, i think He wants me to be lost in His deep, wide and all-encompassing love and grace, which are more than enough for the long, arduous and perilous journey i am taking.